Monday, July 11, 2011

A Letter to Bridal Stores & Treatment of Bridesmaids

Dear Bridal Stores & Your Consultants,

Bridesmaids are people too. People with legitimate feelings towards what they are about to purchase. Is it going to be the bride's day? Sure. However, don't treat us like we are terrible human beings if we choose to make comments about dresses we'd really rather not wear. We aren't (always) trying to be b*tchy about it.

For instance, there was that time I was trying on dresses for a winter wedding. The bride kept picking short, thin dresses. One dress in particular I despised. Just despised. Rather than making a mean comment about how much I hated the dress, I tried other ways of convincing the bride it was the wrong dress. I was making headway with a long dress, when the consultant said "That dress isn't going to keep you any warmer than the other one, and the bride likes it better," with this wonderfully snooty voice. It was all I could do to not fly at her screaming, "If it covers my legs, it at least hides the goosebumps."

Or that time that the bridal consultant yelled my (four sizes smaller than the bride and maid of honor) dress size for the entire store to hear. With 2 of my fellow bridesmaids and bride to hear. You know what brides don't want to be reminded of? That one of their bridesmaids is smaller than they are.

Or that time the alterations person told me that in future weddings, I should suggest to the bride that she choose an "A-line" dress because the one I had purchased and was attempting to get altered was going to cost more in alterations than the dress cost. It was the same store that suggested I not push my luck on a bridesmaid dress just because I wanted a long one because it was winter.

I've been watching "Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids." While I will agree that there are some pretty awful bridesmaids that have been on that show, their treatment of bridesmaids hasn't been spectacular either. Saying "Pay up and shut up," is not appropriate. We get that we probably aren't going to get to pick a dress we want to wear again. But if we are being reasonable (like arguing over going over budget), don't act like we are monsters.

At some point, most of these bridesmaids are probably going to get married themselves. I can already tell you, there's one store I will not be looking at for my future wedding gown, based on their treatment of me as a bridesmaid. If it's possible, they won't even get my bridesmaid's business either.

Sincerely,
An Angry Bridesmaid

EDIT (5/4/2012): I totally forgot about the bridal consultant who mocked my height (or lack thereof)! Consultant: "Well, I guess it's a good thing that you're the one trying on the dresses, since you're going to be the shortest bridesmaid!"
Me: "Actually, I'm not. Another bridesmaid is shorter. I haven't met the other one, so I'm not sure where I rank with her."
Consultant: "YOU'RE KIDDING!"

Saturday, July 9, 2011

Bride-Bragging

I've been torn between whether I should brag about this one particular bride, or not share this story in attempts to avoid alienating other friends (and feeling obligated to do these things should the day arrive that I get engaged). Clearly, bragging has won out (but I should point out- I pick my friends well because they were all fantastic as brides). After all... she (and her parents/ friends) did go above and beyond for the bridesmaids, after she had a horrible experience as a bridesmaid a few months before becoming engaged.

Between graduate school, unemployment, and employment with a non-profit organization (oh- and all the other weddings I've been in), money has been tight. And this bride was familiar with my situation (which was similar to her other bridesmaids' situations). Not only did she choose a bridesmaid dress from the same place that she bought her dress (discount folks... discount), but her family also pitched in by sending the bridesmaids checks to alleviate some of the cost of the dress.

After arriving in town for the wedding (where the bride and her mom picked myself and another bridesmaid up at the airport so that we wouldn't have to rent a car/ drive around a very large, unfamiliar city), we immediately got treated to drinks at McDonalds (this was a theme of the weekend). We also enjoyed a concert (one of my favorite groups in the world) & unique-to-the-city experience.

Other ways this bride and her family went above and beyond for the bridesmaids? Hotel, manicures, bridesmaid lunch, all the diet coke a girl could ask for, food/ party after the wedding with their family and friends, and a 5am trip to the airport the day after the wedding. They had also introduced us to friends as they arrived at the hotel before the rehearsal, and since I only knew the bride and another bridesmaid, I asked one of those friends at the reception to hold my drink and MOH speech while I went to bustle the dress. I returned and that wonderful friend had even asked them to refill my drink!

Fellow bridesmaids, understand that this is not typical. This bride had been through such a terrible bridesmaid experience that she wanted us to have a much better time as bridesmaids than as she had previously. But I just had to brag on her, her family, and her friends a bit, because I've never been better treated as a bridesmaid.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

That one time I wasn't a bridesmaid, and why I can't work for that wedding consulting firm.

I haven't been in every wedding... or even invited to every wedding... even if it feels like it.

This one particular wedding that I'm thinking of belongs to my freshman roommate. I'm sure most people have at least one bad roommate story... so imagine a really, bad roommate story, multiply it by happening about once a month (if not more), and you've got my living situation. I won't share the bad roommate stories, because that's not the point of the blog, but basically, it was terrible living with her. And then I had a much better roommate (and was invited and IN her wedding).

Freshman roommate got engaged my senior year (thanks Facebook, for making it impossible to get away from her), and then married shortly after we graduated. Thanks to Facebook, I got to see her pictures. And there were several that made my jaw drop. And then caused some very impolite laughter.

That's right. These pictures, no matter how nice photographically, made me crack up. They are awful. The bride had a bridal portrait session that put her in the middle of a daisy field with her veil covering her face, and despite this, you can still tell that she has the strangest expression on her face. And by strange, I really mean "pained." The girl looked like she was in pain sitting there, even though I can tell she was really trying to look pretty.

Sure, shame on me for laughing at these pictures of her. And really shame on me for showing them to friends to see their reactions (similar to mine). But shame on those photographers for taking those pictures. They are AWFUL of her.

Anyways, it has been well over 2 years since I looked at her pictures. But during one of my brilliant "Hey, what if I looked into becoming a wedding planner?" moments, I discovered that the company I was researching had pictures of her wedding posted on their site... meaning that she must have used them.

Sure- they picked probably the 2 best pictures from the wedding (they are far away shots), but this is the same wedding firm that allowed some really stupid stuff (like the cake topper where the bride is dragging the groom by his jacket, while he's checking email on a computer). So, I guess I'll be looking at contacting other firms if I'm serious about this idea, but I think it's hilarious that her wedding pictures have popped back into my world in an unrelated way.