Friday, May 4, 2012

Bad Bridesmaidery and other Upcoming Horrors

Sorry for the delay in updates... not having been a bridesmaid in a year has really slowed down my thoughts on bridesmaidery!
This post comes after a chat with my cousin, who was providing all the dish about the wedding she's in in July.


Issue 1: You only know the bride in the bridal party.
Issue 2: The other bridesmaids joke about your size while trying on bridesmaid dresses.
Issue 3: The maid of honor (already married) only wants to plan the bachelorette party... and wants it to be out of town... the week before the wedding.
Issue 4: The shower is in 3 weeks, and no invitations have gone out. For 50 people. And it's the bride's only shower. And it's on a holiday weekend.
Issue 5: The shower, that has been poorly planned, also has an unrealistic budget and effort assumption, given the amount of people attending.

There's a lot of problems here. Sure- you can't help not knowing the other members of the bridal party. That's not a big deal. But bridesmaids making fun of another bridesmaid's dress size is just downright despicable (same goes for you, dress shop employees).
Also, a maid of honor who doesn't have the excuse of living out of town (or if the bride lives out of town) really has no right to refuse to plan the shower. It's one of the expectations when you agree to such a thing. ESPECIALLY when you're already married and have been through this before. No excuses.
Planning a shower on a holiday weekend might not be a terrible thing, but people need to have advanced notice that such an event is happening so that they can plan ahead, and hey, what do you know... BUY A GIFT. I've got nothing to give you regarding underbudgeting, other than thinking ahead that if you want certain things (and want them done correctly), you're starting off on a wrong foot by not planning for a bigger budget.
And the bachelorette party? Well, I think I've made it clear that I don't have a good track record with bachelorette parties, so maybe I'm not the best person to talk about this one, but out of town parties can't happen a week before the wedding... that's when wedding stuff is vital. And out of town parties need to also have the understanding that if every bridesmaid can't attend, then that's ok too. Budgets seriously need to be taken into consideration.

I'm looking forward to my cousin sharing more of her bridesmaid stories with me, and I'll pass them along!