How are you getting to the [insert event here]?

Dear fellow bridesmaids,

Do you know how you're getting to the ceremony? Or to the reception? Or back home after the reception?

I know. This seems simple. But let me tell you- it isn't always.

For instance, at one wedding, the people who were my ride to the wedding were asked to take something from the church to the reception. Now, this needed to get to the reception early, so that they'd be in place for pictures when the bridal party entered the reception. And I'm sure anyone who has been a bridesmaid before can see the issue now... bridesmaids stay after the ceremony to take pictures. And this particular wedding, no transportation was provided for the wedding party. This led to me frantically moving from bridesmaid to bridesmaid trying to find someone with room in their car so that I could get to the reception.

Now, this problem hasn't happened to me, but I've seen the confusion happen. Let's say that the wedding party is traveling as a group (ie, Party Bus, Trolley, limo, etc) to the reception. But what if you drove to the ceremony? How are you going to get back to the ceremony?

Pros of driving yourself: you definitely have a car... and can tote around other bridal party members.
Cons of driving yourself: if there is special transportation, getting to your car can be a problem; also, don't drink and drive.
Pros of not driving yourself: you can drink (if you're of age!)
Cons of not driving yourself: you can't be picky about when you need to be places... and you might lose your ride.

Just keep this in mind. Check with all parties to make sure you can get where you need to be.

One of the most important duties...

I managed to find another Bridesmaid blog (I swear, I searched for them before I started this and failed), and found something that struck me that I definitely should share:

"When you agree to be a groomsman or a bridesmaid, consider that you’re not just agreeing to stand by that person as they get married. You need to stand by them even if they want to get in your car and drive away. No questions asked." (found on Bridesmaiding.com, a post about the role of the Best Man)

This is important. Even if the bride or groom have spent all this money on a wedding, it's best to make sure they're ready to be married to each other. Because if the answer is no, and they need that getaway car, it's sparing them the ordeal of a divorce later. Once they're married, it gets more difficult to get out than just before the wedding.

So maybe the best time to mention this to the bride or groom isn't 5 minutes before they walk down the aisle. But if you let them know throughout that you're there for them no matter what, no questions asked, they'll get the picture.

What To Bring To the Wedding- Updated

• Dress (really, as long as you remember this, everything else can be purchased in the town of the wedding or borrowed)
• Shoes (If bride is requiring maids to wear the same shoes, read prior note)
• Reception shoes (i.e. flip flops)
• Jewelry (some brides will provide jewelry as a bridesmaid gift, but always have backup in case)
• Tissues (For the bride or you)
• Advil/ Tylenol/ Aleve (I shouldn't have to explain this one)
• Band-aids (important for blisters, random acts of clumsiness, and other accidents)
• Gift (acceptable to give it to the happy couple in advance too!)
• Makeup/ Hair tools (unless having these professionally done)
• Small pack of needle & thread (have white, ivory, and the color of the bridesmaid dress at the very least)
• Something blue that's small, in case the bride forgets (a small blue ribbon with a safety pin is always great to have)
• Gum/ mints for just before you head down the aisle
• Nail clippers (will help cut tags off of dresses, hang nails, broken nails, etc)
• Cotton balls/ q-tips
• Nail polish remover
• Hairspray
• Lotion

Royal Wedding MOH Pros & Cons

Yes- I was one of those crazy people who woke up at 4am to watch Kate Middleton marry Prince William (I had the day off to fulfill bridesmaid duties... more about that wedding in the future). But rather than share all my views about that, I'll stick with the point of this blog... being a bridesmaid. And let me just say, I was so jealous of Pippa Middleton's maid of honor dress. It was gorgeous. So I was thinking... what must it be like to be Kate's MOH?

Pros & Cons to being Kate's maid of honor:

• Pro: Kate has great style. So your MOH dress wasn't going to be bad.
• Con: 2 billion people are watching you fulfill your maid of honor duties.
• Pro: Prince Harry (Best Man) has a sense of humor- so having to leave the church with him will be fun, rather than awkward. 
• Con: It's a royal wedding, so that train is going to be longer than most. Lots of tweaking here and there to make it perfect, since about 2 billion people watched the wedding... they'll know if you don't get it just right.
• Pro: Meeting the Queen.
• Con: If there happens to be any sibling rivalry, well, Kate just jumped ahead.
• Pro: Two receptions... so you get to change dresses! 
• Con: The "small" reception was the one with 300 people.

What to wear...

Rehearsal/ Rehearsal Dinner:
Typically this is a dress-up occasion. Double-check with the bride, but more often than not, you'll want to look nice. I typically assume Sunday best. Occasionally, this is very casual- so again, double check with the bride.

Day of/ Pre-putting on the dress:
The one thing I always forget... a button up shirt. Or a shirt with a very large neckline. Easier for not messing up your hair or makeup.

Reception:
Check ahead with the bride, but almost all are willing to let bridesmaids change into other shoes (ie, flip flops) for the reception. I typically last as long as I can handle in the heels, then I change into the flip flops. The hardest part is getting the shoes into the reception without looking goofy!

Wedding Day Playlists

So, The Knot tells you that a Wedding Day playlist is fun for getting ready. And surprisingly enough, I agree with them. Sort of.
See, they've got some good songs on there. But if that's all that was playing while we were trying to get married... well... it wouldn't be pretty. There's only so much sappiness and complete cheese that you can deal with while getting ready. So here's a few of my suggestions (feel free to comment with other suggestions). I will be the first to admit that several of mine fall under the "cheesy" category. (These are in no particular order either):

1. Crazy in Love- Beyonce & Jay-Z
2. Love Me Do- The Beatles
3. I Want To Hold Your Hand- The Beatles
4. Wedding Dress- Matt Nathanson
5. Kiss the Girl- The Little Mermaid (Colbie Caillat's version is cute too!)
6. The Way You Look Tonight- well... anyone (though my latest favorite is Maroon 5)
7. Little Moments- Brad Paisley
8. All I Want is You- Barry Louis Polisar
9. Ever Ever After- Carrie Underwood
10. The Way I Am- Ingrid Michaelson
11. Everything- Michael Bublé
12. Marry Me- Train
13. Long Slow Beautiful Dance- Rascal Flatts
14. Marry You- Bruno Mars (or the Glee version)
15. I Do- Colbie Caillat
16. Any of Taylor Swift's happy songs... "Love Story," "Today Was a Fairy Tale"
17. Be sure to throw in some energetic songs (I have "Hey Ya" by Outkast and several from Glee) to get everyone excited and moving around
18. And if the bride's mom or dad will be in the room and everyone can handle these songs without crying? "Stealing Cinderella" by Chuck Wicks or "Mama's Song" by Carrie Underwood

Current Dilemma: Hair

Wedding number 5 is coming up- and after that... there are no weddings requiring my bridesmaid services on the horizon. (Seriously, this deserves a gasp. This hasn't happened since December 2008).
For the life of me, I can't figure out what to do with my hair. I'm not very adept with hair styling (it should say something that I only learned how to successfully use a curling iron 3 months ago), so when I'm left to my own devices, well... I curl it. I mean... it's better than paying $50+ for my hair to be done, right?

• Wedding #1, I got lucky. The maid of honor was awesome and did everyone's hair, makeup, and nails. 
• Wedding #2, hot curlers... for like an hour. And lots of hair spray. And some help from other bridesmaids to pin it back with bobby pins.
• Wedding #3, paid hair stylist. I gave her a picture of a hair style that I loved... a low bun, with lots of weaving in and out of hair. What I got: Cinderella bun on the top of my head, then lots of twisting and who knows what else at the back of my head. Got lots of compliments. NOT what I wanted though (it's been almost a year and I still don't love that hair style). Also, there was so much hair spray in my hair that she told me not to fall because my hair could break, or to get too close to fire. It took 5 shampoos and 2 conditioners to wash it all out. Oh- and like 40-50 bobby pins (not so bad, since I needed some).
• Wedding #4, curling iron (this is why I started practicing 3 months ago) and sparkly headband. 
• Wedding #5..... Unless I can figure out something, it's going to be a repeat of Wedding #4, without the headband. Tried a side ponytail (maybe with curls?), and the layers in my hair just won't participate. I've got a few weeks to figure this out.

A few months after wedding #3, I chopped off 10 inches of hair for Locks of Love (my 3rd time doing so), thinking it would be more than long enough for wedding #4, and it was, but unfortunately, it's not long enough for me to figure out something for #5. Looks like I'm going to the dreaded The Knot website (or even worse, googling "Simple hair styles" (did I mention that I'm not good with hair?)).