Stuff Brides Say

It's been awhile. For this, I apologize! Between the holidays, two deaths in my family the week of Christmas, and life in general, I haven't wanted to think about weddings (and since I'm not currently with any bridesmaid responsibilities, I'm going to allow myself that break).

There's this video on YouTube that I saw that inspired me though:

In the video (a recap in case you didn't watch, or haven't lately), the bride says multiple times "I just wanted you to be the first to know!"

Now wait. Hold on. Do what now?

I've been asked to be in five weddings, and maid of honor for three. In two of those cases, I knew that the groom was proposing before the bride knew (though only one of those did I know the actual day that the proposal was happening). Do you know how many times I heard "I just wanted you to be the first to know!"?

Zero. Zero times.

In fact, none of the brides called me (at least not as the first form of communication). I got 3 text messages (pretty sure they were mass texts too), one in person, and one, I found out on Facebook.

Do you know who was probably the first person to get the phone calls? Their parents. And you know what? That's how it should be. I'd probably think less of my friends if I was their first call.

Now that that little soapbox is out of the way... the rest of the video is hilarious. And not really like any of the brides I knew. I'll consider myself lucky, I guess!

If I were to make a "Stuff Brides Say" based on my experiences...

"You can wear that dress again." (oh that's right.)

"I like this dress for you. No... wait. This one. That's really the one. Or..."

"I'm not a bridezilla."

[morning of the wedding] "I just want this day to be over with."

"The wedding is more about the guests than me."

Anyone got any brideisms that aren't in the video or on my list?

The Bridesmaid Swag Challenge

Bridesmaids frequently get awesome swag (no joke- brides have been awesome to me, and other bridesmaids too). And now I want to find a way to use it all.

This past weekend, I went on a trip... and quickly realized how many bridesmaid goodies I was using. My bag for the weekend was from wedding #4 (I was in a brown mood. If I'd been in a pink mood, I could have brought the bag from wedding #3). I was also using my wonderfully smelling wedding #4 lotion (purchased because it was pink). My earrings? Wedding #5. Bag that I use to carry hair stuff? Wedding #4.

If I'd tried harder, I totally could have worked in all 5 weddings. Which brings me to my challenge. Work in all 5 weddings. But I'm trying to figure out when to do it. My options:

• The next wedding I attend
• The next time I travel
• Random day that requires dressing up

Will I succeed? Stay tuned to my Twitter feed.

A Letter to Bridal Stores & Treatment of Bridesmaids

Dear Bridal Stores & Your Consultants,

Bridesmaids are people too. People with legitimate feelings towards what they are about to purchase. Is it going to be the bride's day? Sure. However, don't treat us like we are terrible human beings if we choose to make comments about dresses we'd really rather not wear. We aren't (always) trying to be b*tchy about it.

For instance, there was that time I was trying on dresses for a winter wedding. The bride kept picking short, thin dresses. One dress in particular I despised. Just despised. Rather than making a mean comment about how much I hated the dress, I tried other ways of convincing the bride it was the wrong dress. I was making headway with a long dress, when the consultant said "That dress isn't going to keep you any warmer than the other one, and the bride likes it better," with this wonderfully snooty voice. It was all I could do to not fly at her screaming, "If it covers my legs, it at least hides the goosebumps."

Or that time that the bridal consultant yelled my (four sizes smaller than the bride and maid of honor) dress size for the entire store to hear. With 2 of my fellow bridesmaids and bride to hear. You know what brides don't want to be reminded of? That one of their bridesmaids is smaller than they are.

Or that time the alterations person told me that in future weddings, I should suggest to the bride that she choose an "A-line" dress because the one I had purchased and was attempting to get altered was going to cost more in alterations than the dress cost. It was the same store that suggested I not push my luck on a bridesmaid dress just because I wanted a long one because it was winter.

I've been watching "Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids." While I will agree that there are some pretty awful bridesmaids that have been on that show, their treatment of bridesmaids hasn't been spectacular either. Saying "Pay up and shut up," is not appropriate. We get that we probably aren't going to get to pick a dress we want to wear again. But if we are being reasonable (like arguing over going over budget), don't act like we are monsters.

At some point, most of these bridesmaids are probably going to get married themselves. I can already tell you, there's one store I will not be looking at for my future wedding gown, based on their treatment of me as a bridesmaid. If it's possible, they won't even get my bridesmaid's business either.

Sincerely,

An Angry Bridesmaid

EDIT (5/4/2012): I totally forgot about the bridal consultant who mocked my height (or lack thereof)! Consultant: "Well, I guess it's a good thing that you're the one trying on the dresses, since you're going to be the shortest bridesmaid!"
Me: "Actually, I'm not. Another bridesmaid is shorter. I haven't met the other one, so I'm not sure where I rank with her."
Consultant: "YOU'RE KIDDING!"

Bride-Bragging

I've been torn between whether I should brag about this one particular bride, or not share this story in attempts to avoid alienating other friends (and feeling obligated to do these things should the day arrive that I get engaged). Clearly, bragging has won out (but I should point out- I pick my friends well because they were all fantastic as brides). After all... she (and her parents/ friends) did go above and beyond for the bridesmaids, after she had a horrible experience as a bridesmaid a few months before becoming engaged.

Between graduate school, unemployment, and employment with a non-profit organization (oh- and all the other weddings I've been in), money has been tight. And this bride was familiar with my situation (which was similar to her other bridesmaids' situations). Not only did she choose a bridesmaid dress from the same place that she bought her dress (discount folks... discount), but her family also pitched in by sending the bridesmaids checks to alleviate some of the cost of the dress.

After arriving in town for the wedding (where the bride and her mom picked myself and another bridesmaid up at the airport so that we wouldn't have to rent a car/ drive around a very large, unfamiliar city), we immediately got treated to drinks at McDonalds (this was a theme of the weekend). We also enjoyed a concert (one of my favorite groups in the world) & unique-to-the-city experience.

Other ways this bride and her family went above and beyond for the bridesmaids? Hotel, manicures, bridesmaid lunch, all the diet coke a girl could ask for, food/ party after the wedding with their family and friends, and a 5am trip to the airport the day after the wedding. They had also introduced us to friends as they arrived at the hotel before the rehearsal, and since I only knew the bride and another bridesmaid, I asked one of those friends at the reception to hold my drink and MOH speech while I went to bustle the dress. I returned and that wonderful friend had even asked them to refill my drink!

Fellow bridesmaids, understand that this is not typical. This bride had been through such a terrible bridesmaid experience that she wanted us to have a much better time as bridesmaids than as she had previously. But I just had to brag on her, her family, and her friends a bit, because I've never been better treated as a bridesmaid.

The Ask

After reading other bridesmaid blogs and seeing cookies/ cards for sale for brides-to-be to ask bridesmaids to be in their wedding, it made me think of all the ways I've been asked. Never with baked goods, that's for sure.

These are out of order, as I don't want to embarrass anyone.

• A few days after finding out about one bride's engagement, she called me up on the phone to ask (we lived several hours apart)
• Shortly after her engagement, the bride walked across the hallway (she was my roommate at the time) to ask me.
• She asked me hypothetically. I told her I wouldn't mind being in her wedding, as long as that's the role she wanted me to play (there was another option), so she said she had to think about it. Then when I was helping her with part of the wedding planning, someone asked if I was a bridesmaid and I looked at her funny when she said "Yes." She asked what was wrong, and I decided to let it go. She probably didn't realize that she hadn't officially asked me.
• A few days after finding out about the bride's engagement, she and her fiance showed up at my house to say hi and to ask me (she wanted to do it in person since she wanted me to be the MOH)
• We set a phone date (and rescheduled a few times) after her engagement. She asked, and I had to wait until I had a job, as being a bridesmaid costs money (especially if you have to travel), and I was unemployed. Thank goodness her wedding was a year away, and I officially accepted about 3 months after she asked (I really don't recommend doing this to anyone- I just didn't have much of a choice).

I'm undecided about what's the best option. Clearly it's not always feasible to ask everyone in person, though I do believe it is the nicest way when it is possible (ie- you live in the same town. If not, phone is totally fine).

The Pros & Cons of the Wedding Time

5 weddings as a bridesmaid later, I've got mixed feelings about the best time to be in a wedding. They all have their benefits... and downsides. Of course, bridesmaids don't get to pick the hour, but at least you can be prepared before headed to the wedding. (Word of warning- the latest wedding I've been in was at 4:30pm, so that's where I stop offering suggestions). Please note- I understand that when you agree to be a bridesmaid, you're giving up your day to celebrate with the bride and groom.

The Morning Wedding:
Pros:

• Beautiful light for photographers (and if the photographer is happy, the bridesmaids get better looking pictures)
• You should have time to do things after the wedding is over, because the reception won't last until the wee hours (seriously- what bride and groom would want to pay for a 12 hour reception?)
• Less formal.

Cons:

• Do you have any idea how early you have to wake up for a morning wedding? I had to wake the bride up at 4:30am for her 10:30am wedding, since her hairdresser was arriving at 5:30am. One of the photographers got a great picture of me at the hotel after I finished getting ready around 7am... but I don't remember it being taken (AT ALL).
• Being tired makes getting ready that much more difficult. Curling irons and 6am don't mix folks. Neither does mascara. Seriously- morning weddings= early wake-up times.

Recommendations:

• Get an early night's sleep for this one. And if you have insomnia issues like I do, take an Advil PM or something like that.
• Drink caffeine that morning.

The Early Afternoon Wedding:

Pros:

• You might be lucky enough to sleep in a bit more. Or not, if you have an 8am appointment with a hairdresser.
• You have more time to wake up.

Cons:

• You're spending all day with this wedding, or else the reception is incredibly short (early afternoon makes for awkward reception times). Go ahead and prepare yourself. (My one early afternoon wedding lasted from 8am- 11pm).

Recommendations:

• Be ready to smile all day.

The Late Afternoon Wedding:

Pros:

• Beautiful light for photographers (depending on the season)
• You might have time to do stuff that morning, depending on the bride's schedule.
• More formal (less formal/ more formal of course being on what your preference is)
• You probably won't have to be up at the crack of dawn for this wedding. Unless you're friends with Bridezilla (I've been lucky).

Cons:

• You're going to spend most of the day with this wedding, unless the reception is incredibly short.

Recommendations:

• Although you probably get to sleep in some, still make sure you get a good night's rest. It could be a long night.

Believe it or not, for all my cons about the early morning, I think I liked the morning wedding the best. Less time to stress out over things (there's always time to stress over certain details), and there's time to take a nap after the reception before doing other things that night.

On being a professional bridesmaid

I should start off this post by pointing out that I know there are people who have been in more weddings than I have, and that I probably still have a few weddings before my tenure as "professional bridesmaid" is up. That being said...

I've jokingly referred to myself as a professional bridesmaid, but at wedding #5, after a guest/ close friend of the bride's family found out that it was my 5th wedding, she and others started referring to me as such. When it came time to do anything, "Where's the professional bridesmaid? She knows what to do." This wedding is when I realized that with that title, you've got to be prepared for ANYTHING.

What it takes to be a "professional bridesmaid" (even The Knot couldn't prepare me for this):

• You've got the essentials: Advil, bandaids, lotion, needle & thread
• You know what to do in a crisis (i.e., the bride doesn't have "something blue," and you figure out that you have straps that you aren't using on your blue dress with you, which can be safety pinned to the inside of her dress)
• You know to get caffeine before the wedding (Sonic happy hour in this particular instance)
• You know how to paint nails, and manage to get the other bridesmaids and yourself in record time
• You know how to zip the bride into the dress, if it requires specific maneuvering/ bride not breathing while it's being zipped
• The minister goes to you while the bride & groom are taking group pictures, because things were left behind
• You know how to bustle the dress, without requiring safety pins to show you where the loops are
• The catering staff comes to you at the reception to ask if you managed to figure out how to get music to play, since you'd already been by to bug them when they didn't have the hookup like had been promised by someone else
• You can come up with a reception playlist on the day of the rehearsal, when other reception options fall through
• When there's an undesirable bridesmaid job, you get pushed to do it (unless you figure out an alternative)

Makes me wonder why I didn't go into wedding planning as a career choice. Maybe I should start my own business... "Rent a Bridesmaid." I'll be there with Advil, lotion, drinks, and get everyone down the aisle and into the reception with everything ready to go.

Wedding Tales & Horrors, Pt. 2

I'm not quite sure what to do with myself. It's been just over a month, and no bridesmaid duties. No dresses to buy or alter, no shoes to break in, no parties to plan, etc. I don't even have any weddings to attend until the end of September (and then I have 3 in a 4 week period)!

So I figured I'd share another bridesmaid story. This particular time, I had a car wreck the day of the bachelorette party (which was 4 days before the wedding), so I missed the party (I don't have good luck with bachelorette parties, but more about that later). My car was so beat up, that the police officer told me that the only reason he was letting me drive it home is because I was less than a mile from my house (and he told me that if I was pulled over for driving such an undriveable car to explain that it had just happened and etc.) Well- after dealing with the insurance company, they strongly suggested waiting until Saturday to get my rental car. And the wedding was on Friday, about 3 hours away.

So, I started to call other bridesmaids to see if I can catch a ride with them, but they had to leave while I was still in class (a 3-week class, and I was already missing the last day of class to be in the wedding). Which left my only option as a ride with a close friend, who was a guest... who had to work during the rehearsal (which was the morning of the wedding). We left as soon as her meetings were over, and I made it to the wedding just in time to get my hair and makeup done. Another bridesmaid had to show me where I was supposed to stand, how to walk in, all that fun stuff that I missed during the rehearsal.

Moral of the story? Don't drive on curvy roads in the rain if you've got something big planned for the weekend, or don't take classes during weddings that you can't afford to miss a day or two. (I still refuse to drive that particular curve in the rain).

Dispelling Bridesmaid Hollywood Myths

I've come to the conclusion that if wedding movies/ TV episodes are to be trusted with the slightest grain of salt (I choose to believe that in order for it to make it to scripts, someone has at least CONSIDERED doing those things before), why on earth would there ever be a bridal party? Brides would be worried about losing a groom (either to a massive bachelor party or to a bridesmaid), 

Let's consider some pretty typical bridesmaid-related myths that are perpetuated in Hollywood.

1. Bridesmaid falls in love with the groom/ is ex-girlfriend of the groom/ has been in love with the groom but best friend caught his eye first. Seriously girls. How does it get to the wedding stage before someone spills the beans that you're in love with the groom? Err... or maybe my friends are just gossips. But seriously- if you like a guy that much, how has no one bothered to tell your friend this? And how on earth is it that the groom magically loves you too, it just took getting to the altar with the wrong person? And if it's vice versa and it's a groomsman who is in love with the bride, well... dude, you probably just waited too long to realize it.
2. Groomsmen (or single male guests) want to hook up with bridesmaids. So, I've now been in MULTIPLE weddings where none of the groomsmen were single. I've even been to one wedding (and it wasn't a small one) where the only single males in attendance were related to me. This one is perpetuated so often that I keep assuming that at some point, with the number of weddings I've been in/ been invited to that I'll meet some nice guy (even if his intentions aren't the best), but so far, nothing. Heck- I couldn't even get the bride's 3-year-old cousin or a friend's 4-year-old to dance with me when I was a maid of honor (but I did run up to the best man and tell him that since I'd been shot down by both of them, that he'd have to dance with me, and it worked). But in my experience, no one cares about meeting bridesmaids, no matter what the intentions are.
3. Bridesmaids are vindictive. Want proof? There's a made for TV movie called Revenge of the Bridesmaids. But that goes back to point number 1. Isn't there a better way to get revenge than buying a dress (which always seems to be hideous in those movies) that you'll never wear again? Can't you dismantle a wedding without being in it? I've not been in a single wedding that someone is vindictive and sets about destroying the wedding from within. Or outside for that matter.
4. One bridesmaid always thinks she should have been Maid of Honor and wants to prove that point. I've been Maid of Honor three times now. If you want that job, take it. I have no problem with giving the position my all (and it's an honor), but if it comes down to someone fighting for the job, let them take it. I shake while giving the speech, one time I forgot to remind the bride to take her flowers at the end of the ceremony, and one time my mom was convinced my dress would split while I was trying to adjust the bride's train. If someone else wants the job, take it. My nerves (and dress seams) will thank you.

Anyone have any other bridesmaid Hollywood myths? Because really, we get the short end of the stick in movies. Either we get no attention paid to us, or we're causing problems. Of course, without either of these, there's no real story to tell, I guess.

One of the most important duties...

I managed to find another Bridesmaid blog (I swear, I searched for them before I started this and failed), and found something that struck me that I definitely should share:

"When you agree to be a groomsman or a bridesmaid, consider that you’re not just agreeing to stand by that person as they get married. You need to stand by them even if they want to get in your car and drive away. No questions asked." (found on Bridesmaiding.com, a post about the role of the Best Man)

This is important. Even if the bride or groom have spent all this money on a wedding, it's best to make sure they're ready to be married to each other. Because if the answer is no, and they need that getaway car, it's sparing them the ordeal of a divorce later. Once they're married, it gets more difficult to get out than just before the wedding.

So maybe the best time to mention this to the bride or groom isn't 5 minutes before they walk down the aisle. But if you let them know throughout that you're there for them no matter what, no questions asked, they'll get the picture.

Current Dilemma: Hair

Wedding number 5 is coming up- and after that... there are no weddings requiring my bridesmaid services on the horizon. (Seriously, this deserves a gasp. This hasn't happened since December 2008).
For the life of me, I can't figure out what to do with my hair. I'm not very adept with hair styling (it should say something that I only learned how to successfully use a curling iron 3 months ago), so when I'm left to my own devices, well... I curl it. I mean... it's better than paying $50+ for my hair to be done, right?

• Wedding #1, I got lucky. The maid of honor was awesome and did everyone's hair, makeup, and nails. 
• Wedding #2, hot curlers... for like an hour. And lots of hair spray. And some help from other bridesmaids to pin it back with bobby pins.
• Wedding #3, paid hair stylist. I gave her a picture of a hair style that I loved... a low bun, with lots of weaving in and out of hair. What I got: Cinderella bun on the top of my head, then lots of twisting and who knows what else at the back of my head. Got lots of compliments. NOT what I wanted though (it's been almost a year and I still don't love that hair style). Also, there was so much hair spray in my hair that she told me not to fall because my hair could break, or to get too close to fire. It took 5 shampoos and 2 conditioners to wash it all out. Oh- and like 40-50 bobby pins (not so bad, since I needed some).
• Wedding #4, curling iron (this is why I started practicing 3 months ago) and sparkly headband. 
• Wedding #5..... Unless I can figure out something, it's going to be a repeat of Wedding #4, without the headband. Tried a side ponytail (maybe with curls?), and the layers in my hair just won't participate. I've got a few weeks to figure this out.

A few months after wedding #3, I chopped off 10 inches of hair for Locks of Love (my 3rd time doing so), thinking it would be more than long enough for wedding #4, and it was, but unfortunately, it's not long enough for me to figure out something for #5. Looks like I'm going to the dreaded The Knot website (or even worse, googling "Simple hair styles" (did I mention that I'm not good with hair?)).

From Four Dresses to Five; Dress Discounts

I had to change my name here to "Five Dresses." That's right, I will be in wedding number five in April. You can't really turn down your college roommate though!
I will say, this is the third time I've been able to take advantage of discounts on the bridesmaid dress because the bride bought her dress at the same store. David's Bridal and Alfred Angelo definitely have this deal, I'm not sure about others. It ranges between $20 and $25 off, and as any bridesmaid knows, every little bit helps. The best part is, since they have the bride's information in the computer, you don't even have to tell them about the discount, because they should already know. In fact, at Alfred Angelo, I found out about the discount before the bride!

P.S. For those keeping track, dress #5 is marine blue, just like dress #2.

The Knot... and why you can't believe everything it says.

While writing my maid of honor speech is still causing me issues, I figured I'd write another blog entry here.

While fretting about my first go as MOH, I turned to The Knot to see what my responsibilities were. After visiting their Bridesmaid site, I realized it was better to just see what the bride needed me to do... which is what I recommend to you all.

First off, The Knot is clearly meant for brides. Yes, this should have been more obvious to me, but I figured that the bridesmaid page would be safe grounds. And they do offer some good advice, don't get me wrong.

But then some of the advice they offer includes 10 Ways To Lend the Bride A Hand. I forgot that I'd seen it, and was tricked into looking at it a few times before I could remember that it was silly. Sure- everything on the list sounds great, but when you're a graduate student with limited funds (even more limited after the purchase of a dress, wedding present, wedding shower present, etc), you realize that the list is a little ridiculous. Especially when you don't live in the same town or state as the bride (as it has happened a majority of the weddings I've been in). You want to know how you can lend a hand to the bride? ASK HER what she wants you to do. Plain and simple. Because the bride will more than likely have an idea of what she wants you to do anyways (and that is not meant as an insult- what girl doesn't have some sort of idea how she wants her wedding to look?)

These responsibilities can include: going with her as she tries on gowns, going with her to try on bridesmaid dresses (at one point, I'm fairly certain I'd tried on every dress at David's Bridal between all the weddings I'd been in), going with the bride to look at flowers, helping with the out-of-town guest goodie bags, working on programs, planning wedding showers/ bachelorette parties, helping with seating arrangements, etc. Not every bride is going to have the same needs.

Which is why I repeat my earlier statement- ask the bride what SHE wants you to do... don't rely on The Knot to tell you your responsibilities.

Dress Sizes & Alterations

I've got bridesmaid dress on the brain apparently. I took my latest dress to my grandma to hem (she's helped me with 3 of the 4), because, let's be honest. I'm only going to wear this dress once. There's no reason to spend a ridiculous amount of money on alterations when my grandma can do a good job for free.

Besides- how is is fair that bridal stores don't always keep samples in every size? In fact, while purchasing my most recent dress, the smallest size available was 4 sizes larger than the dress I purchased. Only twice have I been able to try on a dress in the proper size in the store.

I got lucky with the first dress- it was cocktail length and had straps, so I didn't really need to worry about alterations. Thank goodness, because the dress didn't even arrive until 2 weeks before the wedding... and I hadn't been able to try on the dress in the correct size at the store. This might end up being the only dress I will wear again... although it's been almost 2 years and I still haven't.

Second dress, not so lucky. Lucky in the fact that I got to try on the right size in the store. Unlucky in that the dress was very fitted and strapless... and I'd gained a few pounds. All of a sudden, the size I was in the wedding before was very very tight. And the next size up would have cost a fortune to alter, with the way the top half was fitted. After losing the weight, and purchasing fake Spanx just to make sure, the dress was still entirely too long. My grandma cut off about 3 inches from the hem, which was then used by the bride's mother to make the bride's garter (her "something blue"). As I can't get into the dress by myself due to hooks, and it can't be washed or dry-cleaned, I don't picture ever wearing this dress again.

Third dress really set me off. It was my third time purchasing from David's Bridal, so you'd think that I'd know what my size was. And yet, with the way this particular dress was made, I ended up having to purchase a dress two sizes larger than I had the previous dresses, and I hadn't even gained weight! And with purchasing a dress two sizes larger just to fit one part of my body, the other part of the dress was two sizes too large. When I picked up my dress, they had me try it on for alterations estimates, and the alterations were going to cost 150% the price of the dress. So, rather than have a fitted dress, I was able to be comfortable and breathe at the wedding. Yet again, my grandma had to cut significant portions of the bottom of the dress off, plus she had to cut off part of the straps to make it fit better. This dress is bright pink satin. I won't be wearing it again.

Fourth dress was short again, so no hemming necessary. This was my first non-David's Bridal dress. Now the issue was the straps again. Currently, the straps stick up an inch off my shoulder, which probably isn't how the dress is supposed to look. So, my grandma is now fixing that part of the dress now. There is a small chance it can be worn again.

What I've learned about bridesmaid dresses: No matter what the bride says, you're probably not going to wear it again. I've come to take it as a joke if they say, "You can just shorten it and wear it again!" Most importantly, it's the bride's day, and if they want me to wear even the most ridiculous dress that day, I'll do it. But, I've learned that it's not worth it to push yourself to fit into a smaller dress (unless it's really your only option, like dress #2). Why work nonstop to fit into a dress you'll wear for a few hours? And, if you have a family member or friend willing to do the alterations, save yourself the money. And that's what I've learned.

Getting the Dress from Point A to Point B

Now onto the real motivation for starting this blog... the Bridesmaid dress. There will be many, many posts dedicated to this issue. However, this is my first time with this particular issue... how do I get my dress to the wedding, if I have to fly there?

Oh sure. It's so easy to be a bridesmaid if it's in the town that you live. Or if you can drive there. But this isn't always an option.

So I did some internet research, which basically led me to the answer, "Well, it depends on the airlines." So, I found the "Contact Us" page on my airline's website, and sent them a note the other day. First off, I have to applaud them, because they answered my question in about 24 hours (it could have taken up to 5 business days).

Unfortunately for me (and my satin bridesmaid dress), they can't hang it for me (like some airlines can... supposedly).

"When you are traveling with your bridesmaids dress as a carryon item, it must be stored in one of the overhead bins. Any time our Customers carry on items (especially items as precious as a bridesmaids dress), we advise them to do so with caution since items may shift while inflight and damage may result (carryon items are excluded from our liability per our Contract of Carriage). If at all possible, you should wait for all Customers to stow their carryon items and then place the dress on top of the other items in the overhead bin compartment. Please also feel free to ask a Flight Attendant for assistance."

So, it's something to keep in mind, fellow bridesmaids. Contact your airlines as soon as possible, or deal with packing it and steaming it. I highly recommend driving, or really pushing for a bridesmaid dress that won't show wrinkles (cue laughter now).

Tales of a Perpetual Bridesmaid

I am about to be in my 6th wedding in a few months. We have to go WAYYYYY back to 1992 for my first, when I was flower girl in my uncle's wedding. And then I served punch at my cousin's wedding (I got a corsage, so it counts for something) in 1998. Then I was a bridesmaid in 2009, then was maid of honor and bridesmaid in two weddings in 2010, and now maid of honor again in 2011. And to top it all off, in the weddings I was bridesmaid/ MOH, 3 of the 4 dresses have been pink.
That being said, I've learned a lot from these weddings. And I figured I'd share some of what I've learned, since it's taken me this long to figure out what roles I'm supposed to be doing and when! Please feel free to comment along the way.