"Special People" and wedding snobbiness shines through

It's been a long time since my last post. Let's be fair... the last time I was a bridesmaid was 7 months ago though, so it's only natural to have posts slow down, right? At the very least, future posts will likely turn into wedding tips, whether for brides/ grooms, bridal party, or guests. I don't foresee any bridesmaid invites coming for a little while, so keeping it strictly to bridesmaids may require posts to take FOREVER inbetween.

On that note... a real post. I'm gearing up for my second "special person" duty in March (aka, photographer and anything else needed). That's right... I've turned my bridesmaid experiences into something somewhat constructive, and it saves me from buying a present, and saves the bride and groom for paying for a photographer (hey- they know I'm an amateur, so it's totally fair, right?)

Although, I'm pretty sure there's more pressure on being the photographer than being a bridesmaid. I'm not going to lie... being a bridesmaid is not easy-peasy. But to know that they are going to use these pictures to remember their day for a long time, as are their family members? Well... it's a bit stressful. I'm already picturing bad weather, dead batteries, missing the perfect shot, etc. (though thinking about it, my fears while being a bridesmaid were forgetting the dress, dress tearing, tripping, dropping my or the bride's bouquet, running out of money before the wedding, etc).

In a related note, my younger brother has moved into the world of groomsman duties. Today, his Save the Date postcard arrived, and I was horrified. I don't know what they did to the picture or the card, but I could have done 100000x better with the exact same idea (it looks like the picture was taken with a cell phone, and not the new nice high megapixel cell phone cameras, and the numbers on the front made no sense until you actually saw the back of the card). I guess I've turned into a wedding photography/ wedding invitation snob. I've seen my fair share (10 weddings in 4 years, 5 as bridal party attendant) of save the dates, and while I might laugh at some, this officially ranks as the worst.

Mad Bridesmaid Skills To the Rescue

I haven't been a bridesmaid since... April. For 3 years, I'd had weddings to prepare for... and now... nothing. Well... other than to be wedding photographer in March, but that just doesn't even count.

Which might be why I was so willing to agree to anything that a recent bride asked me to do (which, yes, was mainly photography related, but still- my title in the program was "Special Bride's Attendant," not photographer). And then it happened. Quite possibly every bride and groom's worst nightmare, short of someone taking the "Speak now or forever hold your peace" line seriously.

This particular bride and groom found out during picture taking time (you know, between the ceremony and reception?) that their flight from home connecting them to their honeymoon was canceled, and since they were going on a cruise that next day, that was a VITAL flight for them to catch.

But wait... it hasn't gotten bad enough yet.

They got pushed onto a later flight that should still have gotten them to their honeymoon on time. And disaster struck again. While in the air, the pilot (or whoever) discovered that something was wrong with the plane mechanically and they had to turn around and return here to get it fixed. So, they ran into the bridesmaid that I'd chauffeured around all weekend, including having just dropped her off at the airport. That bridesmaid texted me to tell me of their continued troubles with flights, and I did what any good bridesmaid (regardless of if I was a bridesmaid this time around or not) would do... I found an expert. I told my mom what the trouble was with their flights, and she immediately pulls out her computer and finds them a flight that will get them to their destination in what we hope will be enough time for them to get on the cruise. And here comes the other important bridesmaid skills... recalling how attached to her phone the bride was the day before. OF COURSE she'll have it on and attached to her. And luckily I had her number to text her this information.

Unfortunately, since this new flight wasn't with their same airline, they had to pay for it out of pocket (I'm still holding out hope they could get their previous money back since they had 2 flights canceled), but they not only made it to the destination on time, but actually 20 minutes early!! And caught their bus from the airport to the port in time and had, what I assume to be, an excellent time on their cruise.

(I should also point out that several other people had been calling the cruise line and others to explain the situation, to see what options there were, so I wasn't the only person helping out here.)

Sometimes having mad bridesmaid skills isn't about standing beside a bride on her wedding day, or even doing all of this by yourself, but knowing who to ask and how to get the information to the people who need it. And that, folks, is what a true bridesmaid does, even when she's not a bridesmaid.

That Awkward Moment When You Don't Know Anyone At A Wedding

I now see the true benefit of having a date to a wedding... when you aren't a bridesmaid. I still maintain that bridesmaids don't HAVE to bring a date just for fun (multiple people agree with me on this one now).

Yesterday, I had the fun of attending a wedding of a college friend (and fellow bridesmaid in a previous wedding- the bride from that wedding was a bridesmaid this time around). And short of the bridesmaid and the bride, I knew NO ONE. Luckily, I'd been invited to all the pre-wedding events, and was briefly introduced to the fiancé of another bridesmaid. When chauffeuring my bridesmaid friend to get her hair done, we started discussing cocktail hour... and how I wouldn't know anyone. Luckily, I remembered that the fiancé of the one bridesmaid would also be in the same situation... and we'd likely be the only ones in that situation. So I told my friend that I'd just go search for him and try to hang out with him during that time.

It worked! I walked over to him, introduced myself, and explained the situation. He chuckled, and we started talking. Turns out, this whole terrible job economy is a great topic for a current grad student/ recent grad school graduate still struggling to find *real* jobs. Who'd have thunk it? His fiancée came running down at one point of the cocktail hour to get the bride some food, and was really glad that I'd come over to talk with him.

I lucked out (well, I think it's lucking out in this situation), and there wasn't a seating chart for the reception, so we found the only open table and saved seats for my friend the bridesmaid and his fiancée, while continuing to chat.

So my tip to you if you're going single (or just plain aren't given a plus one) to a wedding that you aren't in and only know the happy couple and members of the bridal party? Hunt down people in similar situations as you. It works. Trust me.

(coming soon- when mad bridesmaid skills save the day)

Fall Wedding Season Has Arrived!

It's been awhile, and I've not yet completed my bridesmaid swag challenge. Maybe this weekend? We shall see.

Right now, I'm busy preparing for 3 weddings in 4 weeks. Thankfully, two are in town, and the third and final wedding is out of town by several hours. This first wedding, I was almost drafted into the wedding party as a 27 Dresses rule (thanks to the brilliant @27messes for this brilliant commentary on the bridesmaid draft). The second wedding is the wedding of a fellow bridesmaid, who has chosen a former bride to be her bridesmaid, and this bridesmaid is crashing with me for the weekend. As I am her driver for the weekend, I've been invited to all the events (oh yeah- I'm also the rehearsal photographer this time around), so I'll get to see what it's like to be a bridesmaid without actually purchasing a dress or having any real responsibilities. And the third wedding? Absolutely no responsibilities but celebrating in New Orleans. I think I can handle that.

By the way- if you have a Pinterest account, look for me! I've got boards about the dresses I can't imagine ever having to wear, the dresses I'd love to wear, some great wedding hair ideas, and more!

That one time you can't show up to a wedding single...

Not long ago, I wrote an entry for bridesmaiding.com about being a single bridesmaid and why it's ok to not have a date at weddings, and it got posted last week. And then yesterday rolled around, and I found myself laughing/ stressing as I got put in a situation where I desperately need a date for a wedding I'm attending in about a month. I would argue though, that if I were a bridesmaid, I wouldn't feel the desperate need for a date as badly, as bridesmaid duties would keep me out of a lot of awkwardness.

Before yesterday, I probably would have argued about what entails requiring a date to a wedding if you haven't been seriously dating someone for a decent amount of time (weddings are awkward, folks. Spare the person you're dating from awkwardness early in the relationship). Naturally, I'm not even seeing anyone, regardless of how long. But here's the dealio: my invite didn't say "and guest," so I chose to not worry about needing one. Then the groom (one of my closest friends) informed me that he and the bride wanted to let me know that I was welcome to bring a friend or date along to the wedding because they didn't invite many people that I knew, and realized that they hadn't included a +1 option. Then he informed me that of the 4 people I'll know other than himself and the bride, two are bridesmaids, and two are... well... I'm refraining from calling these two males terrible names after they tried to "play" me. This requires great restraint, FYI.

So that typical wedding awkwardness that I talked about in my Bridesmaiding post? Yeah- multiply that by 1000 kinds of crazy, and you've got how I feel (and it's not even the day of the wedding yet. We've still got a month to go). And for some reason, the only answer is to drag someone into the crazy who at least has some knowledge of what they are getting into. Oh sure, I could bring along a girl friend, but that's only going to lead to other awkwardness. And then I remembered- I had introduced someone to part of the crazy recently. So I texted him with the situation (160 characters wasn't enough to explain this kind of crazy, so I'm proud that I managed in about 185-190), and begged "Want to help me through a whole lot of awkwardness?"

It also helps that the wedding is at our alma mater, and he's met the bride and groom, and has met at least one of the two likely to make me want to leave before I arrive.

Now I just need a kick-ass dress, make-up, shoes, and hair and a self-confidence boost, and I'll be all ready. I've got 3 weddings to attend in the course of one month, and this one kicks it off. Please let the other 2 weddings run smoother!