Dispelling Bridesmaid Hollywood Myths

I've come to the conclusion that if wedding movies/ TV episodes are to be trusted with the slightest grain of salt (I choose to believe that in order for it to make it to scripts, someone has at least CONSIDERED doing those things before), why on earth would there ever be a bridal party? Brides would be worried about losing a groom (either to a massive bachelor party or to a bridesmaid), 

Let's consider some pretty typical bridesmaid-related myths that are perpetuated in Hollywood.

1. Bridesmaid falls in love with the groom/ is ex-girlfriend of the groom/ has been in love with the groom but best friend caught his eye first. Seriously girls. How does it get to the wedding stage before someone spills the beans that you're in love with the groom? Err... or maybe my friends are just gossips. But seriously- if you like a guy that much, how has no one bothered to tell your friend this? And how on earth is it that the groom magically loves you too, it just took getting to the altar with the wrong person? And if it's vice versa and it's a groomsman who is in love with the bride, well... dude, you probably just waited too long to realize it.
2. Groomsmen (or single male guests) want to hook up with bridesmaids. So, I've now been in MULTIPLE weddings where none of the groomsmen were single. I've even been to one wedding (and it wasn't a small one) where the only single males in attendance were related to me. This one is perpetuated so often that I keep assuming that at some point, with the number of weddings I've been in/ been invited to that I'll meet some nice guy (even if his intentions aren't the best), but so far, nothing. Heck- I couldn't even get the bride's 3-year-old cousin or a friend's 4-year-old to dance with me when I was a maid of honor (but I did run up to the best man and tell him that since I'd been shot down by both of them, that he'd have to dance with me, and it worked). But in my experience, no one cares about meeting bridesmaids, no matter what the intentions are.
3. Bridesmaids are vindictive. Want proof? There's a made for TV movie called Revenge of the Bridesmaids. But that goes back to point number 1. Isn't there a better way to get revenge than buying a dress (which always seems to be hideous in those movies) that you'll never wear again? Can't you dismantle a wedding without being in it? I've not been in a single wedding that someone is vindictive and sets about destroying the wedding from within. Or outside for that matter.
4. One bridesmaid always thinks she should have been Maid of Honor and wants to prove that point. I've been Maid of Honor three times now. If you want that job, take it. I have no problem with giving the position my all (and it's an honor), but if it comes down to someone fighting for the job, let them take it. I shake while giving the speech, one time I forgot to remind the bride to take her flowers at the end of the ceremony, and one time my mom was convinced my dress would split while I was trying to adjust the bride's train. If someone else wants the job, take it. My nerves (and dress seams) will thank you.

Anyone have any other bridesmaid Hollywood myths? Because really, we get the short end of the stick in movies. Either we get no attention paid to us, or we're causing problems. Of course, without either of these, there's no real story to tell, I guess.

How are you getting to the [insert event here]?

Dear fellow bridesmaids,

Do you know how you're getting to the ceremony? Or to the reception? Or back home after the reception?

I know. This seems simple. But let me tell you- it isn't always.

For instance, at one wedding, the people who were my ride to the wedding were asked to take something from the church to the reception. Now, this needed to get to the reception early, so that they'd be in place for pictures when the bridal party entered the reception. And I'm sure anyone who has been a bridesmaid before can see the issue now... bridesmaids stay after the ceremony to take pictures. And this particular wedding, no transportation was provided for the wedding party. This led to me frantically moving from bridesmaid to bridesmaid trying to find someone with room in their car so that I could get to the reception.

Now, this problem hasn't happened to me, but I've seen the confusion happen. Let's say that the wedding party is traveling as a group (ie, Party Bus, Trolley, limo, etc) to the reception. But what if you drove to the ceremony? How are you going to get back to the ceremony?

Pros of driving yourself: you definitely have a car... and can tote around other bridal party members.
Cons of driving yourself: if there is special transportation, getting to your car can be a problem; also, don't drink and drive.
Pros of not driving yourself: you can drink (if you're of age!)
Cons of not driving yourself: you can't be picky about when you need to be places... and you might lose your ride.

Just keep this in mind. Check with all parties to make sure you can get where you need to be.

One of the most important duties...

I managed to find another Bridesmaid blog (I swear, I searched for them before I started this and failed), and found something that struck me that I definitely should share:

"When you agree to be a groomsman or a bridesmaid, consider that you’re not just agreeing to stand by that person as they get married. You need to stand by them even if they want to get in your car and drive away. No questions asked." (found on Bridesmaiding.com, a post about the role of the Best Man)

This is important. Even if the bride or groom have spent all this money on a wedding, it's best to make sure they're ready to be married to each other. Because if the answer is no, and they need that getaway car, it's sparing them the ordeal of a divorce later. Once they're married, it gets more difficult to get out than just before the wedding.

So maybe the best time to mention this to the bride or groom isn't 5 minutes before they walk down the aisle. But if you let them know throughout that you're there for them no matter what, no questions asked, they'll get the picture.

What To Bring To the Wedding- Updated

• Dress (really, as long as you remember this, everything else can be purchased in the town of the wedding or borrowed)
• Shoes (If bride is requiring maids to wear the same shoes, read prior note)
• Reception shoes (i.e. flip flops)
• Jewelry (some brides will provide jewelry as a bridesmaid gift, but always have backup in case)
• Tissues (For the bride or you)
• Advil/ Tylenol/ Aleve (I shouldn't have to explain this one)
• Band-aids (important for blisters, random acts of clumsiness, and other accidents)
• Gift (acceptable to give it to the happy couple in advance too!)
• Makeup/ Hair tools (unless having these professionally done)
• Small pack of needle & thread (have white, ivory, and the color of the bridesmaid dress at the very least)
• Something blue that's small, in case the bride forgets (a small blue ribbon with a safety pin is always great to have)
• Gum/ mints for just before you head down the aisle
• Nail clippers (will help cut tags off of dresses, hang nails, broken nails, etc)
• Cotton balls/ q-tips
• Nail polish remover
• Hairspray
• Lotion

Royal Wedding MOH Pros & Cons

Yes- I was one of those crazy people who woke up at 4am to watch Kate Middleton marry Prince William (I had the day off to fulfill bridesmaid duties... more about that wedding in the future). But rather than share all my views about that, I'll stick with the point of this blog... being a bridesmaid. And let me just say, I was so jealous of Pippa Middleton's maid of honor dress. It was gorgeous. So I was thinking... what must it be like to be Kate's MOH?

Pros & Cons to being Kate's maid of honor:

• Pro: Kate has great style. So your MOH dress wasn't going to be bad.
• Con: 2 billion people are watching you fulfill your maid of honor duties.
• Pro: Prince Harry (Best Man) has a sense of humor- so having to leave the church with him will be fun, rather than awkward. 
• Con: It's a royal wedding, so that train is going to be longer than most. Lots of tweaking here and there to make it perfect, since about 2 billion people watched the wedding... they'll know if you don't get it just right.
• Pro: Meeting the Queen.
• Con: If there happens to be any sibling rivalry, well, Kate just jumped ahead.
• Pro: Two receptions... so you get to change dresses! 
• Con: The "small" reception was the one with 300 people.