(As this blog is not meant to hurt anyone's feelings, I will leave out all names and other qualifiers.)
It never fails. Someone will make the stress level on the wedding day incredibly high. Could be the bride, could be the mother of the bride, could be a bridesmaid, could be groom or groomsman, or it could be an outside force. Or, you know... several outside forces. This is the story of one such outside force.
Wedding coordinators at churches serve an important role. They open up the church for the wedding, they explain the do's and don'ts, and in a perfect world, they don't stress out the bride. Well, this particular wedding coordinator started heaping on the stress the second we walked in the door for the rehearsal, and no joke, didn't stop until we were in the cars ready to leave for the reception.
The person who had been coordinating the wedding before for whatever reason was no longer helping out with this wedding, and clearly left NO information for this new coordinator. The bride and bridesmaids arrived 20 minutes early, since it was made very clear that we were to be there at 5pm sharp since they had another rehearsal starting at 6pm (now, come on. You can't start the second rehearsal at 6:30?) Well, the coordinator immediately starts, trying to figure out who the bride is, who the maid of honor is (to sign the registry and special booklet). And then the real flustering begins. "Where's the groom?" ("Um, he's on his way... traffic is really bad.") "Where's the groomsmen?" ("Um, lady, do you see any men here? Do we look like we know where they are?" is what we wanted to say.) and our personal favorite, "Where are the readers?" ("Their flight got delayed, and then traffic, so they will be here as soon as possible.") With each new person walking into the church, we heard "Are you my readers?" (while the bride kept saying, "No, I will let you know when they arrive."- she didn't listen though). Then we get rushed through the entire ceremony, with nasty quips made by her when we didn't respond properly (hello, it's a rehearsal. You have to let us know if you expect a real response). Then she looked at her watch and realized that it was only 5:30... and what do you know, we have time for a second run-through, despite people being "late."
Then the day of the wedding, more stress from the coordinator. First she's flustery about getting the flowers to the guys, then about getting the flowers to the grandparents. Well, it turns out that the flower shop got the order wrong or something, and didn't provide enough wrist corsages for everyone who was supposed to get one. So the bride decided to give the grandmothers a pinned rose, and save the wrist corsages for the mothers and her readers. Believe it or not, the coordinator had the nerve to fight the bride about this, likely because she didn't want to have to pin the flowers on the grandmothers. She left with a very loud huff. I only wish I was exaggerating. Then she tried to get us to head over to the church 10 minutes before the wedding was due to start... so we may have sent some people to the bathroom and formed a circle to pray (and have yoga breaths to extend it looking like we were praying so that she would leave us alone). If only that had stopped the rudeness, but no.
Then it comes time to walk down the aisle... and she sends the first bridesmaid through. The bridesmaid wasn't even to the second pew when she tried to send the second bridesmaid through. That bridesmaid ignored her the first few times she said "Go!" and then finally said "I'm trying to give her a little more space," then walked. I get to her, and she tells me to go and the photographer is still taking the bridesmaid in front of me's picture. So I explain that to her and she's definitely getting mad. I finally started walking when the photographer looked ready, and I could hear the rude woman say, "They're going too slow!" Like it matters to you!?!?! Anyways, it didn't stop just there. We got the nasty rudeness until we left.
So what do you do if outside forces cause problems to a wedding you're in? Draw attention elsewhere. Let the bride (and everyone) vent as much as needed, then get it back to happy moments (Yay, the bride is getting married! Even if there are nasty people to deal with, she still will get married!) Pray... and/or take deep breaths. Give hugs. Be supportive. Make funny faces at the stress source when they aren't looking (I never said all of these suggestions were mature). And if you're really brave? Go talk to the person. I wasn't brave enough, because I was worried about making the situation worse, which is definitely something to consider.
Coming soon: I'm going to brag about wedding photographers and how they save the day. It's not bridesmaidy, but they are super important (besides, if you treat them poorly, they don't have to delete the pictures that make you look really bad!)
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